Tuesday, January 15, 2013

I Blame the Mayans

You may have noticed that I skipped an entire year of blogging. Apparently I only write in odd-numbered years - who knew? Here is my grand list of:   


Things I Did Instead of Blogging during 2012

10.   I courageously learned how to use a pressure cooker. I 
       then immediately turned all pressure cooking duties over to 
       my husband. (He’s from Mexico City and is not afraid of 
       anything. Plus, the dude knows his way around a pot of 
       beans).

9.    I baked my first ever loaf of bread, which happened to be 
       for a friend’s bachelorette party. Think there’s a high 
       demand for penis-shaped breads? Because it was delicious. 
       (I shall call my future side business…  Special Shapes.) 
Balloon Fiesta
The Special Shapes Glowdeo. Heh heh. 
(How come there's not a Beavis balloon?) 



8.    I checked out 
       Pinterest. 
       It was not life-
       changing.
       I checked out
       Gangnam Style. 
       Nothing will ever 
       be the same. 


7.    I grew an organic garden. It yielded lots of rich sensory 
       experiences for my children (“Look Mama, I found the 
       seeds you lost in the dirt!”) and not a lot of vegetables, 
       with the exception of tomatoes. They were abundant, and
       harvested and eaten primarily by baby N (an intrepid 
       toddler by now). Turns out she will eat a tomato like it’s an 
       apple. It’s really pretty gross. I have to look away.  

6.    I facilitated a public meeting, this time without a 
       SpongeBob SquarePants sticker attached to my butt. 
       Progress. 

5.    I went camping—twice!—with my crew. And we weren’t
       even eaten by a cougar. (I know because I stayed up all 
       night in terrified mama bear mode thanks to the helpful 
       DANGER COUGAR AREA signs posted everywhere.)

4.    I threw a celebrity-themed baby shower for my little sister. 
      My favorite game was called “Person or Pony?” As the title 
      suggests, you had to guess whether a given moniker was a 
      celebrity baby name, a My Little Pony, or a Kentucky Derby 
      winner (harkening back to our Lou-uh-vul roots). It was 
      pretty amazing and I’m very proud of it and it may require 
      its own blog post. Just to give you a taste – can you identify 
      which of the following is a real person? Pilot Inspektor, Petal 
      Blossom Rainbow, and my favorite, Jermajesty. 

       Answer: Folks, those are ALL PEOPLE. 

Meet Fifi Trixibelle! No, wait, wait, that's a PERSON. 
This here is Rainbow Dash. My bad.

3.     I/we survived our first road trip as a family of four. Sure, a 
       7-hour drive took us 12, but I am now familiar with every 
       playground from Albuquerque to Phoenix, and I ate 
       something called Amish buttermilk pie along the way that 
       was DIVINE. Totally worth a cart and buggy lifestyle.

2.     I became a Dancing for Birth instructor. Though one 
       pregnant friend kindly described the idea of the class as 
       “her worst nightmare ever” I promise you that it’s really 
       fun and awesome and you will learn some amazing birthing 
       tips. Really! You should come! (Please don’t make me 
       dance by myself.) 

1.     Finally, I tended to the physical, emotional, psychological, 
        social, and spiritual needs of two other human beings. And 
        got a full-time job. And took some doula clients (yay!). 


So dear readers (do I have any dear readers?), I'm sure you're all wondering if this post means that Carlos is back. Well, that remains to be seen. But 2013is off to a bang (just last week I cleaned parts of my house that hadn't seen the business end of a sponge in 6 years), so anything is possible. 

To the new year!

P.S. If I do have any readers out there, and you like what you read, please comment on or share your favorite posts. It so warms my little heart. And who knows? I just may repay you in baked goods! Any shape you like. =)